


Better Not Left to Chance (the Arthur's Choice Remix)

by Nightfox



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-29 12:27:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3896287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightfox/pseuds/Nightfox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur had always thought that he and Merlin had drifted apart as a natural consequence of living lives burdened by heavy responsibility. However, as he's about to find out, that just might not be the case.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better Not Left to Chance (the Arthur's Choice Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Skitz_phenom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skitz_phenom/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Not a Matter of Chance, but of Choice](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1159132) by [Skitz_phenom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skitz_phenom/pseuds/Skitz_phenom). 



> I'd like to thank Skitz_phenom for allowing me to play in her world for just a little while. I sincerely hope you like the results at least a little bit.
> 
> Readers please note that I did my best to preserve Skitz's original dialogue with very minimal changes.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta Rocknvaughn and to the mods for hosting Camelot Remix this year.

Entering the council chambers, Arthur glances around the room and sighs with exasperation when he doesn’t find his Court Sorcerer in it. Merlin is supposed to present a special census report and nation-wide plan for the burgeoning magical population of Camelot in today’s meeting. _Couldn’t he at least be on time today, of all days?_

However, when the doors to the main chamber are officially thrown open, Arthur breathes a sigh of relief to see Merlin waiting on the other side, a messy pile of papers clutched in his long-fingered hands. A smile stretches across his face and Arthur begins to return it when he realizes it isn’t aimed his way. Merlin is waving the sheaf of papers in his hands and directing his smile at Gaius. Of course he is; why would he smile at Arthur of all people? It’s been a long time since he could expect a spontaneous smile from Merlin. They just don’t have that sort of closeness anymore. It’s been years since they did, but for some reason, the distance between them seems especially great today. Stifling a disappointed sigh, Arthur takes his seat at the head of the table and waves a hand at Sir Leon to begin the proceedings. 

He can see that Merlin’s distracted during the majority of the meeting, but Arthur’s pleased when Merlin pulls himself together and delivers an excellent presentation to the court. As always, he finds his eyes straying to his court sorcerer more than they really should, and depressingly, as always, his Court Sorcerer’s eyes are not straying to him. In fact, Merlin doesn’t seem to be paying any attention at all to his surroundings. Instead he seems lost in his own thoughts, thoughts ever and always hidden from Arthur. 

_He’s probably thinking about Morgana,_ Arthur thinks sourly. The two have been thick as thieves for months now, spending all their time together, locked away in the small library of magical books and artifacts Arthur had suggested they create for themselves. It’s a suggestion he’s been cursing himself for ever since.

After the council meeting, he pulls Merlin aside, ostensibly to congratulate him on a job well done as well as offer a private meeting to further discuss the issues raised in his presentation. But if he were being honest, Arthur would have to admit that he’s restlessly craving Merlin’s company. His dreams have been unsettled of late, and Merlin’s always had the ability to put Arthur at ease, even when he isn’t trying to.

Observing the dark circles beneath Merlin’s eyes, Arthur wonders if Merlin hasn’t also been suffering from the same sort of dreams he has. He knows both Merlin and Morgana are troubled by the same strange dreams that have haunted Arthur’s nights for several years. In fact it wasn’t uncommon for Merlin to sleepwalk while in the grip of his nightmares. Sometimes he even walked himself into Arthur’s chambers, seating himself at the table and slumping over it until being shaken awake by Arthur himself. According to Gaius, Merlin sometimes even wandered all the way down to his chambers, fumbling his way to his old room only to curl up on the old bed where he used to sleep when he first came to Camelot.

Arthur’s known all along that Merlin’s restless dreams and his own tend to coincide with each other but he’s always been reluctant to speak to the sorcerer about it. He’s not even sure why; it’s not as if he doesn’t trust Merlin. They may no longer be as close as they once were, but his faith in Merlin’s loyalty has never once faltered…not even when his friend’s true nature as a sorcerer had finally been revealed. Maybe today would be the day he’d finally share the secret of his dreams with Merlin and perhaps together they could figure out exactly what they meant. 

Temporarily lost in his own thoughts, Arthur is unaware of the awkwardly long pause before Merlin’s hesitant response captures his wandering attention once more.

“Um, I’m sorry, Sire, but I’ve got to meet Morgana. We've been planning for weeks now to get to work on the library.” Throwing out one hand in a vague gesture, Merlin reluctantly adds, “I uh, could send her a message that I’m going to be late.”

Immediately stepping back, Arthur schools his features into a bland, pleasant smile and shakes his head. “No, I won’t keep you, Merlin.”

He must have failed to hide his disappointment because Merlin offers him a weak “Maybe later?” 

Redoubling his efforts to appear unaffected by Merlin’s rejection, Arthur issues a vaguely airy response “Perhaps. We’ll see what the day holds, shall we?”

“Of course, Sire.” Merlin agrees with patently false enthusiasm. He never was a very good liar and on that front nothing’s changed. With an obviously forced smile on his lips, Merlin bows and takes his leave, eagerly quitting Arthur’s company and quickly exiting the room.

Frustrated by Merlin’s gentle but clear rebuff, (of course his plans with _Morgana_ come first) Arthur heads for the practice field with a fire in his belly, only to pick a fight with the only one of his knights who will always give as good as he gets, Gwaine. Any of the others would back down, let Arthur dominate them, and yield to his aggression. Not Gwaine however, he fights with all the fearsome skill at his disposal, gives Arthur the fight he’s looking for and some much needed release.

Then Merlin shows up, distracts them both with a magical “attack” and on seeing the sorcerer, Arthur’s restlessness returns tenfold. He joins Gwaine in a mock battle with the “foul fiend” in order to demonstrate to his men effective means for fighting a magic user but his heart isn’t in the lesson. However, it serves the purpose Merlin probably intended, to break up the fight and calm both king and knight alike. 

He claps Gwaine upon the shoulder in a gesture of both apology and gratitude, and knows he’s forgiven when he receives a smiling nod from his friend in response. He moves past Gwaine to where George, his toadying manservant, stands ready with a pitcher of cool water and a rag to wipe the sweat from the king’s brow. He takes the latter from George’s hand and begins to wipe himself down. In the midst of trying to reach under the armor at his neck, he’s surprised and a bit embarrassed when Merlin swipes the rag from his fingers and begins gently clearing the sweat from his neck and upper back. He can’t suppress a small shiver of pleasure at Merlin’s touch and he feels his cheeks heat in response. A few moments later he’s still struggling to compose himself when Merlin takes him by the arm and tugs him a few paces away from George’s rigid presence.

“What is it?” Arthur demands rather sullenly. “Aren’t you supposed to be locked away in your library with Morgana?”

“Well, I was, but then something came up.” Merlin replies. “Arthur I need to ask a favor.”

Merlin goes on to explain that he too is having strange dreams and restless nights of late. When he requests permission to go and meet with the Great Dragon in order to shed light on the source of the dreams, Arthur is both prompt to give permission and eager to accompany him. He doesn’t miss Merlin’s reluctance, but honestly he’s too unsettled by the present situation to care…plus a small measure of spite makes him take pleasure in forcing his company on Merlin. No doubt he’d thought to take Morgana along with him instead. Too bad. He’d have Arthur’s company whether he liked it or not.

Issuing orders to George, Arthur makes ready to leave without delay, but Merlin stops him.

“Uh, Arthur? You know we really don’t need to go to all that trouble. I mean, I can summon Kilgharrah to me from anywhere.” He sounds awkward and looks uncomfortable as he speaks and Arthur can feel his annoyance rising again.

“I know that, Merlin. But I’d rather you didn’t call for him too close to Camelot, or too near any of the outlying villages. I don’t want to get reports of panicked flocks or terrified villagers.” Honestly, Merlin should really _think_ about these things. A great, fire-breathing lizard might be nothing to him, but to the citizens of Camelot there could be nothing more frightening.

“And we’re going _now_?” Merlin’s reluctance is so great he almost stammers the question. “I mean, it’s just that it’s already afternoon and if we leave now we might not be back before nightfall…”

Arthur glares at him in annoyance. Couldn’t the little bastard at least _pretend_ not to find Arthur’s company so loathsome? He might not be Morgana, but Arthur’d thought they were at least still friends. Apparently he’d been wrong. 

He has to fight to keep a sneer off his face as he replies, “Yes, Merlin. We’re going now. If it means a night in the woods, well it won’t be the first.” He almost adds something biting about Merlin’s preference for spending the night with Morgana but manages to suppress the impulse. Taking a deep breath he continues, “You’re my Court Sorcerer, Merlin. You’re a vital part of my court and council. And if something’s disturbing you, we need to get to the bottom of it.”

“Oh.” Merlin says dumbly, seemingly at a loss for words. “Um, well, thanks.” Again, his tone is flat and disappointed and a wave of depression sweeps over Arthur. Is his presence really so unwanted that Merlin can’t even manage to hide how distasteful he finds the idea of spending a few hours in his company?

In a move that serves to confirm Arthur’s despondent suspicions, Merlin begins to back away, gesturing over his shoulder to the castle behind him. “I’ll just...go get some things.”

Unwilling to show how hurt he is, Arthur pretends a nonchalance he doesn’t feel and waves a languid hand in the air. “Right. Meet me at the North Gate when you’re ready. I’ll need to leave instructions with Leon.”

Arthur watches Merlin go, a pensive frown on his face. He’s not sure when or why he lost his only friend in the world but right then and there he vows to get him back. Surely they aren’t so far gone that they can’t recapture at least a little of the friendship they had before?

With hope in his heart and determination in his mind, Arthur makes his way to the royal quarters and readies himself for the journey ahead.

___________________________________________________________________

Merlin looks up at the dragon. “It’s broken, isn’t it?” he asks, startling Arthur. “The bond between us. Something’s happened to it?”

The dragon nods, and replies, “Yes, Merlin. Your fate is no longer tied to that of the young King.”

Standing in a small clearing in a forest half a day’s ride from Camelot, the moon illuminating the scene in front of him, Arthur is confused. Before him, dragon and dragonlord are speaking cryptically of things he knows nothing about. He’d agreed to accompany Merlin to petition the dragon’s aid in deciphering the strange dreams that have been plaguing both of them for nearly four years. Dreams that began the same night his chastened and remorseful sister returned to them after her own sister Morgause had perished by Morgana’s hand in some ritual gone wrong. Now Merlin and the dragon are discussing fate, Morgana, Morgause, and spells gone awry. 

“I’m sorry, but I’m not following. You’re saying that Merlin and I were…”Arthur struggles to articulate a concept he’s only half-grasping at the moment. “That we’ve shared some kind of link?”

The dragon ( _Kilgharrah_ Arthur reminds himself) goes on to explain that Arthur and Merlin were supposed to share _a destiny_. They were meant to be bonded together, soul to soul, and together bring about some grand change in the kingdom. However, something had happened to that bond, something to do with Morgana and the night Morgause died that had interrupted their destiny and severed their souls’ connection.

When Kilgharrah’s done with his explanation, he imperiously decrees, “You and Arthur must be united, must share that bond again, if you hope to live beyond these days and see your prophecized future brought forth.”

Arthur’s not sure why, but he believes Kilgharrah. He has no reason to trust the treacherous creature, but somehow he senses truth in the dragon’s words.

“What broke this bond?” Arthur asks. Beside him, Merlin starts, seemingly surprised by the question. Arthur’s not sure why, it seems a perfectly logical query to him. Momentarily ignoring Merlin, he continues,“You said the spell worked. Morgause’s spell. Why would that have broken our bond?”

“That I do not know, young Pendragon. I only know that whatever she and Morgana had intended, something changed the focus of her spell. Though I cannot know for certain, I suspect it was Morgana’s fate that the magic was tied to. That it was her fate the magic changed and your lives were all affected as a result.”

Arthur snaps, “How can you know it was because of Morgana?” Feeling defensive of his sister, he’s unwilling to instantly heap all the blame for their current situation on her head, knowing all too well what an easy target she would be. Both her history and his own jealousy pave the path but Arthur’s never been one for taking the easy way out.

When Morgana had returned to them four years ago claiming that her actions against Camelot had been the result of a powerful enchantment that had ended the night of Morgause’s death, it had taken Arthur a very long time to believe her. It was mostly because he found he had _wanted_ to believe her, badly wanted it. It was that almost instinctive desire to forgive, to lay the blame at someone else’s doorstep that made him all the more cautious in doing so. Did he believe her tale of enchantment because it was the truth or because he wanted it to be the truth? After all, it wouldn’t have been the first time his clever half-sister had made a fool of him. 

However, once he finally did forgive her, he had done so with all his heart and he’d never once regretted it. She had Arthur’s trust now and he could feel his hackles rising at the implication that Morgana was responsible for their current predicament.

He continued to question Kilgharrah until it became clear that the break in “destiny” was likely the result of something Morgause had done _for_ Morgana rather than something Morgana herself had done. Furthermore, whatever that witch had done, it had been an act of truly powerful magic to reorder a path preordained since the oldest recorded prophesies.

“Whatever magic was cast changed the very threads of fate. Rewove them to suit a different purpose…and it will take great effort to set your paths to rights again,” Kilgarrah concludes with an air of caution.

“What must we do?” Arthur asks as he steps closer to Merlin in a subconscious show of solidarity. “There must be some way for this to be fixed.” Something inside him is certain Kilgharrah knows what that way is.

“You’re sure of that, are you?” Arthur can hear the challenge in the dragon’s voice and he meets Kilgharrah’s considering eyes directly, his own firmly projecting the confidence he feels as he nods his answer to the question.

Kilgharrah’s eyes narrow and he brings his enormous head closer as if to peer inside Arthur’s heart and soul. “And would you take whatever steps are necessary to repair what has been sundered?”

“Of course,” Arthur responds without hesitation. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I do not speak of a momentary connection between you, young Pendragon, but the twining of your lives, your destinies. You would be joined by this shared fate for the whole of your lives.” He pauses again, his eyes going flinty and hard. “And…Merlin is a sorcerer after all.”

“I know what Merlin is,” Arthur snaps, offended that this treacherous lizard is daring to question his trust in Merlin. He takes a deep breath to calm his ire and repeats, “I know, and I accept him for who he is. _For all that he is._ ”

Merlin stirs at Arthur’s shoulder, breathing out a soft “Thank you, Arthur.” His breath tickles Arthur’s ear and it’s all Arthur can do not to shiver at the feel of Merlin’s warmth against his neck.

Kilgharrah continues to observe him sharply for several long moments before saying at last, “Very well, I can think of only one way for the rift between you to be repaired. But it is fraught with danger.” Another dramatic pause. “And it will only work if the two of you are truly committed to the task.”

Arthur can’t help the swell of warmth in his chest when his reply “Of course we are,” comes at the same moment Merlin states firmly, “Yes, of course.”

There’s a smug, taunting air of condescension in Kilgharrah’s tone as he looks down at them both and says, “I am glad to see you both so readily in agreement.”

Arthur ignores the taunt and simply repeats his earlier question. “What must we do?”

“You must travel to the Isle of the Blessed. Once there you must cast a spell…You must then do whatever it is that the magic requires.” He waves a foreleg in a vague gesture, “I cannot say for certain what this spell will ask of you. I only know that it was originally intended as a way to bind two practitioners of the Old Religion together to share their life force and their powers. It is an ancient ritual, a magic from ages past.” He points at them both, but his eyes are on Arthur as he says, “It is not to be taken lightly.” Arthur meets his golden gaze steadily until Merlin turns his way.

Arthur sees the question in Merlin’s eyes and silently conveys affirmation with his own. Merlin holds Arthur’s gaze as he speaks to the dragon, _“We understand.”_

Merlin continues to stare at Arthur for a few more seconds before he gives the slightest of nods and turns back to Kilgharrah. _“I’m ready,”_ he says, taking a deep breath, _“for the spell.”_ He steps forward, tilting his head back while he spreads his arms wide.

Expecting the dragon to recite something, a chant or some mystic and arcane words, Arthur is surprised when the mighty beast simply leans close to the dragonlord and…breathes on him? Then, after just a few moments of silent communication, the dragon straightens, backs up a few steps, and lunges up into the air. Before he’s gone, he leaves them with one final admonition, “Fix this, young Warlock and young King. Set your destiny to rights.” 

___________________________________________________________________

Arthur is lost in thought as they ride away from their meeting with the dragon. Kilgharrah’s words make perfect sense to him. _Of course_ destiny is broken, _of course_ he and Merlin were meant to be bonded. Ever since he arrived in Camelot, hadn’t Merlin always been closer to Arthur than anyone? Hadn’t he earned Arthur’s trust faster than anyone ever had in his life? Hadn’t Arthur always wondered how he could become so dependent on another person, and a peasant at that? Hadn’t Merlin been at his side day and night, a light and comfort in Arthur’s darkest days? And ever since he’d promoted Merlin to Court Sorcerer hadn’t Arthur, in both small ways and large, longed for the way things were before? Missed Merlin’s constant presence, ached for it as he would an arm lost in battle?

Yes Merlin had been there, had never left, but Merlin _wasn’t his_ anymore, not like he used to be, not like Arthur _needed_ him to be. He’d felt selfish for feeling that way, for wanting to keep Merlin a servant just to keep him by Arthur’s side. And yet, however selfish it might be, he’d still wished for it every day in the secret depths of his heart.

Their relationship had begun to change four years ago, Merlin might claim it was Samhain night, and maybe it had been-that’s certainly the night Arthur began having those strange dreams-but for Arthur the change had been gradual and the beginning of the change hard to pin down. All he knows is that Morgana returned and Merlin had begun to pull away. He’d always figured it was a second chance with Morgana that pulled Merlin away from him, especially after she attempted save Uther’s life almost at the cost of her own and Merlin finally revealed his own secret in order to save her. Her selfless act had put to rest all the doubt and suspicion Arthur’d still harbored after her sudden return and it had finally felt like he’d gotten her back. However, it felt like regaining his sister had come at the cost of his best friend-his friend…and perhaps, something more. Or at least the _possibility_ of more.

He’d told himself that it was only natural that Merlin was drawn to Morgana more than to him. After all, they were both magic, and shared the bond of suffering under Uther’s rule that only other magic-users could understand. It was _natural_ that he’d be drawn to Morgana, a beautiful woman, more than Arthur _a man_. If anything hadn’t been natural, it was Arthur’s longing for his _male_ servant-cum friend-cum magical advisor. Only now he’s learning that maybe he’d been wrong in his assumptions about Merlin and Morgana. And perhaps his longing for Merlin wasn’t unnatural at all. Perhaps they had been meant to be closer to each other than to any other, had been meant to face every challenge that befell their kingdom as soul-bonded companions. Maybe even that possibility of _more_ that Arthur had always longed for wasn’t so far-fetched.

Arthur had listened to Kilgharrah’s words, and (despite their source) he’d _felt_ them to his core, felt the truth of them deep in his soul. Now he can’t wait to start acting on them. So when they reach the road and Merlin turns his horse to the south with a cheery, “So back to Camelot?” Arthur stops him.

“No. Why would we go back to Camelot? You heard the dragon. We’ve got a destiny to fix.”

“Yeah but I thought we’d...I dunno, need to _tell someone_ that we’re going to be away for a few days?” Merlin questions in a chiding tone.

Arthur waves Merlin’s worry aside. As far as he’s concerned, there’s no business in Camelot more pressing than the need to set their destiny straight.

“Let me worry about that. We’re already heading in the right direction. To head back now would set us at least two days behind. I’m quite sure there’s a village not far from here, We’ll stop there and I’ll have someone carry word back to Camelot.”

They both turn north and set out for the Isle of the Blessed. And for the first time in years, four years in fact, Arthur finally feels that his course is true, that he is absolutely doing what he should be doing. Despondency banished by Kilgharrah’s reassurance, all of Arthur’s uncertainties are gone. Somehow he knows that he and Merlin will set it right, the way they were always meant to, _together._


End file.
